Dating someone with emotional walls

dating someone with emotional walls

Do you have an emotional wall?

Emotional walls come from a legitimate place. The reaction to hurt -- physical, emotional, or mental -- can be to shut down and to shut others out. This is an exhausting, entrenched habit and reaction and one that takes hard, uncomfortable work to undo and then even more hard, uncomfortable work to learn new ways.

Why do people put up walls in relationships?

Another reason people put up walls is because it’s an easy defense mechanism. If I cut you out or deem our relationship not “real” you can’t hurt me. Approaching relationships like this means that you not only miss out on vulnerable, wild abandon love but it’s actually not that easy, is it?

How do you know if a person with walls really loves you?

A little patience goes so far. At the heart of it all, if a person with walls has decided they love you, they mean it. To have walls means to block yourself out, and when love nestles itself in the basement of your heart, it becomes a permanent resident banging on walls and demanding to be tended to.

Are your relationships wall-worthy?

Once youre aware of it, you get to step back and decide if a situation (or a person) are wall-worthy. And more often than not, they arent. But they just might be love-relationship-friendship-worthy. Once you see this, then one puzzle piece at a time, you can step away from your walls and toward people instead.

What is an emotional wall?

Emotional walls come from a legitimate place. The reaction to hurt — physical, emotional, or mental — can be to shut down and shut others out. This is an exhausting, entrenched habit and reaction and one that takes hard, uncomfortable work to undo and then even more hard, uncomfortable work to learn new ways.

Is it bad to build emotional walls around yourself?

Understandable, perhaps - there are traumas both physical and psychological that can make a person feel very, very vulnerable. One of the coping mechanisms to protect one’s fragile self is to build emotional walls. It isn’t “bad” as much as it is undesirable.

Are your walls keeping you from expressing your feelings?

You learn to expect little from others, and you settle for your not expressing your feelings because talking about them makes you feel too vulnerable. Though your walls have served as your ardent protector, they also come with a personal cost. When you put walls around your heart, it is difficult to feel the emotions of others, much less your own.

Do you build emotional walls to protect your heart?

Along the way in your life journey, you were injured by unkind words or scolded by a displeased parent or teacher. You may have felt betrayed by a friend, or lover, or have had your heart broken. As these experiences happened, you began to build emotional walls to protect your heart.

Are your relationships wall-worthy?

Once youre aware of it, you get to step back and decide if a situation (or a person) are wall-worthy. And more often than not, they arent. But they just might be love-relationship-friendship-worthy. Once you see this, then one puzzle piece at a time, you can step away from your walls and toward people instead.

What are the signs that your relationship is worth keeping?

But just in case you’re only swept up in temporary emotions – here are ten signs that your relationship is worth keeping. Whether you’re staying in or out on a date, you have fun with your partner. It doesn’t matter what you’re doing, just being together is enough to have a great time.

Is it worth it to fight for a relationship?

If your relationship has turned you into someone bitter and sad, then it’s not worth fighting for. You don’t deserve to be unhappy. Sometimes love isn’t enough to make two people compatible long-term. Don’t fight for a relationship you have to force.

Is it better to walk away from a relationship?

Sometimes walking away is the best thing you can do. A partner who routinely dismisses your concerns can be a sign that the relationship isnt worth fighting for. No one said relationships were easy ― even the strongest couples will inevitably hit a few bumps in the road.

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